Garrett the Graduate

GarrettGarrett is now one step closer to Graduate School, Medical School, or Law School! I’m not sure which one Garrett will choose. But, as long as it’s not Clown School, I’ll be happy.  

Garrett is now a proud graduate of pre-school. He has spent the past school year mastering his letters and his numbers, learning the fundamentals of art, practicing some Yoga, and being reminded that we play with our friends. We don’t punch them in the face.

All in all, I’d say it was a successful experience! Up next – KINDERGARTEN!



The Crib is Gone


After two kids and seven years, the crib is finally out of the house. It served us well! It was the one place in the house where I knew that if put something (or someone) in it, they would still be there when I returned. The days of having to lift a child out of bed are over. Now, they just crawl out of their beds and stand by my side of the bed in the middle of the night staring at me while I sleep. There is nothing quite like opening your eyes at 3am to see a child standing next to you asking, “Daddy, what doing?” Um…my taxes?


Breaking apart the crib was easier than I assumed it would be, but still difficult enough to make me curse the manufacturer several times. However, the new bed came with a crew who built it for me! Whoo hoo!!


Here is what we started with:



Here is the finished product:


 And, for your viewing pleasure, here is the video: (By the way, my wife has a film degree from USC, but still doesn’t understand that she needs to turn her phone sideways to record video. Personally, I blame George Lucas for not giving the school enough money.)


Hey Tonka! Truck You!!

Police Car

While GWE was out of town and Justin was at a sleep over, I had Garrett all to myself. We decided to have a Guys’ Night Out – just the two of us! I scooped him up in one arm, grabbed the diaper bag in the other, and we were off for an evening of debauchery!

I decided that our first stop should be the toy store. Because Garrett is the second child, he suffers from a very real and debilitating sickness called “Toy-Hand-Me-Downtitis.” At our house, there are (literarily) hundreds of toys within his grasp! Yet, only a handful of them were purchased specifically for him. Most of the toys started out as Justin’s. So, not only does Garrett have to decide which toy he would like to play with, he also has to decide how much of Justin’s wrath he’s willing to put up with in order to play with that toy. We’ll be starting a telethon for his “disease” next year.

As we stood in the toy aisle, I told Garrett that he could have whatever he wanted…within reason…under the certain amount of money…as long as it didn’t require assembly…or forty batteries…

The first toy he found was a Red Fire Truck. Two problems: 1) The truck was two feet taller than Garrett, and 2) It would have required a small business loan. The second toy he choose was much better. It was a blue and white police car with three different sirens. He wrapped his arms around the Tonka police car like it was a teddy bear and never let go. Sold!

As we were driving to our next destination, I heard the sound of emergency vehicles quickly approaching so I pulled over to the side of the road. After a few seconds, the alarms faded and we resumed our adventure. Several minutes later, I heard more emergency vehicle sirens and pulled over to the side of the road again. This time, the sirens seemed even louder – but the vehicles never passed me.

Two minutes later, I heard the sirens again and pulled over for the third time. I was concerned that we were near a fire or possibly a car accident, so I lowered the windows and the moon-roof and began looking around for signs of an emergency. I saw nothing…and the sirens faded again.

I remember there being a long moment of silence and then I felt something hit me in the ear….which was followed by ANOTHER SIREN BLAST!! I quickly realized – IT WAS GARRETT’S TOY!!

Unbeknownst to me, Garrett (who sits in a car seat behind my seat) pulled his toy out of the bag and had pressed the siren a few times. Each time he pressed it, I pulled the car over thinking it was a real police car! It wasn’t until he became frustrated by not being able to get the toy out of the box, that he threw it at my head…which set off the siren again!

Hey Tonka – maybe your toys don’t need to sound THAT realistic! Whatever happened to “Wee-ooo-wee-ooo?!?!?!” Think I’m kidding about the sound? Watch this:

The Magic of A Garage Door

Having observed Garrett closely since his second birthday, I’ve come to the conclusion that the perfect age of life is 2. I know everyone warns you about the “Terrible Twos” (and I have a friend who believes that nothing is worse than the “F*@&ing Fours”), but Justin was a breeze at 2 and so is Garrett.

What I like about this age is that everything is new and exciting to Garrett. Simply going outside is an magnificent experience for him. Eating good food is exhilarating. Waking up and seeing garbage trucks outside his window is absolutely mind-blowing. Each and every experience is met with joy and wonder.

However, the one experience that has topped them all is the opening and closing of the garage door at the new house. We had a garage door at the old house, but it was manual. The garage door at the new house is electric!

I won’t tell you how Garrett experiences it. Instead, I’d prefer to show you:

Snuggle McMugglepants

Snuggle1A few weeks ago, Garrett was miserable. He had a runny nose, terrible cough, and (after a quick doctor’s visit) we discovered that he had an ear infection in his right ear. He was not happy! GWE and I did the best we could to handle the situation, but a cold is a cold and at some point there is not much a parent can do but simply hold your ailing child and wait for the medicine to “kick in.” Justin knew that his brother wasn’t feeling well, so he decided to stay away.

In an effort to give Justin his own time, I decided to pick up him up from school one afternoon and take him out to dinner – just the two of us. We found ourselves at the mall. While wandering around looking for a place to eat, we found ourselves in front of a “Build-A-Bear” store. I was expecting Justin to turn towards me and ask if he could have a toy. To my surprise (and shock), Justin did turn to me, but instead he said “We need to make Garrett a teddy bear so he’ll feel better.” I could not argue with that logic.

Justin took it upon himself to create the perfect teddy bear for his brother. I just sat back and watched. He chose the style (a rabbit), the type of “heart” that went inside, the clothes, and a pair of sunglasses. Finally, when he was ready to stuff the bear, the attendant asked him if he wanted anything else put inside. She then showed him a recorder that would allow him to record his own voice. All Garrett would have to do is push the rabbit’s paw and Justin’s voice would play. He loved the idea and recorded: “Hi Garrett. It’s me – Justin! I hope you enjoy this bunny rabbit! I hope you love it! Bye!”

And then, the final decision needed to be made. What do we name him? After careful consideration, debate, and the flip of a coin – Justin chose “Snuggle McMugglepants.”


The following morning, Justin presented Garrett with his new gift. Garrett looked at it for a moment and then tackled it out of excitement. Then, Justin activated the recorder and Garrett froze when he heard Justin’s voice coming from the rabbit. He wasn’t sure what to think. After the recording ended, Garrett resumed his “attack” of the rabbit and tried to eat its face!

I suppose that means he liked it!

You Put Your Left Leg In, You Take Your Left Leg Out….

Meet the parents of GenXDaddy!

Here they are trying to put pants on my 10 month old son. As you can see, he is not putting up a fight. He is not kicking his legs, nor is he struggling to get away. He is just “dangling in the air” as my father holds him. Yet – the challenge of putting pants on a baby seems to be too great for two people with graduate degrees, medical degrees, and about 30+ years of experience raising two children.

This might explain why I still try to put my pants on over my head.

Good work, mom and dad! (And, I think his pants are on backwards.)