Justin’s Understanding of Women


Justin and his lady friends!

While sitting at lunch on Saturday, GWE was explaining to Justin what her plans were for the rest of the day and how he would be included. The following conversation really happened: (The dialogue is courtesy of GWE.)

GWE: “Hey Justin, you are gonna come with me to UCLA Alpha Chi for my song workshop. Except the ladies who will be there are from the University of California San Diego! They are visiting Los Angeles for the weekend! Isn’t that exciting?”

Justin: “So okay, Mommy, do they speak a different language?”

GWE: “No, honey, they speak English.”

Me: “Hey Justin, all women speak a different language.”


Garrett and HIS lady friends!

I love you very much

Bear3No other words have the power to melt your heart or betray your trust like the words, “I love you very much.” Especially, when coming from your own child.


Several weeks ago, Garrett started telling us that he “loved us very much” as part of his bedtime routine. Each time he said it, it felt special and unique. It was a great way to end the day. I would reply by giving him a tremendous hug and whispering in his ear that I loved him very much as well. This was our thing and it melted my heart each time he said it.


It was special….until Chip, Dale, and Teddi Barra from the Country Bear Jamboree entered our lives!!! (Well, technically, our brunch!)


For the past few years, we’ve taken the boys to the Mother’s Day brunch at The Grand Californian at Disneyland. It’s a fun event and they have a couple of characters wandering around the restaurant to hug and play with the children.


Garrett saw Teddi first and ran up to him to give him a huge hug. And then I heard him say, “I love you very much!” Huh?!?! Ok, probably just a fluke, I thought. I’m big and furry. Maybe he mistook the bear for me.



30 minutes later, Chip came by our table. (Maybe it was Dale. Doesn’t really matter.) Once again, Garrett ran up to Chip to give him a hug and said, “I love you very much.” What?!?!? He just gave the love meant for me to another fuzzy stranger??


30 minutes later, Dale came by. (Maybe it was Chip. Maybe it was Chewbacca. I dunno. They all look alike when you’re on a sugar high from eating too many Mickey Waffles.) Again, I heard my son profess his love to someone other than me.


Feeling scorned, I wanted to lash out. I wanted to whisper in Garrett’s ear about how Walt Disney was anti-Semitic, how those characters will never love him back, or worse – none of those characters are real!! I wanted to, but I didn’t.


Yes, I understand that a 3 year old doesn’t really understand the concept of love. Hell – I’ve met 40 year olds who don’t understand the concept of love. But, it was just one of those things that caught me off guard.


As I tucked him back into bed that night, he stood up to give me a hug. And then, he said those magical words: “I love you very much.”


Honestly, it was as special as it was the first time.

I Am “UNCLE” GenXDaddy!!


We have a new addition to the GenXDaddy family! On January 31, 2015 at 5:30PM., my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. (My brother-in-law helped!)


In this corner, weighing in at 7 lbs, 14 oz with a length of 20.5 inches long and with a very full diaper – Sadie Bella Bergman!!


Hey Sadie – when you’re ready for your first scotch, cigar, and tattoo…come to Uncle Jason’s house! Cousin Justin, Cousin Garrett, Auntie GWE, and I are ready to corrupt you!



Things My Wife Told Me About My Son(s) #1

LeopardLast night, GWE was sporting a new pair of leopard print pajama pants. She asked me if I liked them and I responded that I did. She replied, “Good…because your son picked them out.”


GWE went on to explain that while she was deciding between leopard-print pajama pants and polka doted ones, she asked Justin which he preferred.


In a manner that can only be described as “America’s Next Top Model” judge meets 8-year-old with no verbal filter, Justin told her that the leopard print was more appropriate for her because she was “more of a ‘Roooaaaarrrr!’”


My son thinks his mom is “Fierce!”

Grandma’s Dead, But She’s Feeling Much Better Now!

Last night, I came home from a very, very long day at work. I quickly grabbed dinner, plopped down on the sofa to watch a few moments of a client’s show, and then planned to pass out from exhaustion. During a commercial break, I grabbed my iPad and looked at some Facebook updates. All of a sudden, I saw this on my mother’s page:


I looked at it for a few moments and tried to process what I was looking at. I turned to GWE and said, “I think grandma died….4 hours ago…and no one told me.” She responded with, “What?!?!” as I showed her what I was looking at.

I grabbed my phone and texted my mother with “You awake?” (I didn’t call. It was midnight where she was and I thought she might be in mourning!) This was the following text conversation:

Mom: “Yep. Unfortunately, I can’t sleep.”

Me: “Is grandma ok?”

Mom: “Yep. Why?”

Me: “Saw a weird message on your Facebook page.”

Mom: “About her?”

Me:  “Yes. Asking about your ‘late’ mother.”

Mom: “Geez. Looking.”

Me: “It was posted 4 hours ago. Is this like the time my rabbit died you and didn’t tell me for a month?”

Mom: “Oh, brother. Headed to the kitchen to get on my computer.” Pause “OH CRAP! I just answered her.”

Me: “Delete it from your page before people start asking questions!” Pause “Glad I saw that before flowers started showing up at the house!”

Mom: “OMG! I feel like punching daddy until he wakes up to tell him.”

Needless to say, my mother called my grandmother the next morning to tell her what had happened. It turns out that the woman who posted on my mother’s Facebook page had left a phone message for my grandmother last Thanksgiving. Since my grandmother never got around to returning the call, the other person assumed the worst – that she had passed away. (I’ve had people not return my phone calls before. And, maybe I wished that they were dead at the time….but, I never assumed they were dead and then sent their relatives a condolence message on a social media site!!)

My grandmother called me yesterday afternoon laughing hysterically. I told her that for a dead woman who was calling from “the great beyond,” her cell reception was fantastic! She told me that it was cold where she was, but the harp music was nice and the angels seemed friendly. I told her that I’m glad we caught it in time, otherwise my parents would have come home one evening and found a Minyon (10 Jewish people needed for certain prayers) standing in their driveway. We laughed and laughed. (Yes – this is sick.)

It actually did make me wonder – what happens to our “virtual lives” when we pass away? I found two answers. The first is an APP called “If I Die.” According to the site -“Simply install the app on your page, choose three “trustees” (i.e. people who can be relied upon to confirm your sad demise) and record — by text, image, or video — a message that will be published to your feed, upon your death. “ Very creepy!

The other solution is to have a friend post something on your behalf. I like this better! I recently saw an article about two friends who had a plan.  When one died (cancer), the other waited a few days and then used the deceased friend’s password to log onto his Facebook page. He then began posting new status updates “from beyond the grave” as the person who just passed away. He did it for a week with per-arranged updates that they had worked out together before his passing. Here is another one: Dead

In the future, you better made damn sure someone is really, really, really deceased before posting something like that!! Nothing could be stranger than posting a virtual condolence note only to have it responded to with “I AM NOT DEAD YET, ASSHOLE!!”

My Kid Is On The List. I Am Not.

Justin and Gio

Justin and his buddy, Gio!

If you’re a follower of this site, then you know that I’m doing my best to keep my kids from becoming “Hollywood Kids.” What is a “Hollywood Kid?” It’s a child whose parent(s) work in the entertainment industry and therefore have access to parties, celebrities, and “perks” that a normal child (or adult, for that matter) would not have access to. There is a difference between going to a kid’s birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese and taking your kid to the premiere of the latest Disney movie.

A few weeks ago, GWE mentioned that she had an invite to attend the Hall of Game Awards that were being hosted by Cartoon Network. The invitation was also being extended to Justin because GWE’s friend was bringing her son as well. Since it was going to be a kid friendly event, I had no issues with Justin attending.

The morning after the event, GWE showed me the pictures she had taken. The first was a picture of my wife standing next to Shaquille O’Neal. He had his arm around her like she was his prom date. Just look at his hand!! I turned to her and commented, “You know what they say – once you go Shaq…” She was not amused.

Audra and Shaq

GWE (with my possible replacement!)

The next 20 – 30 pictures were of Justin playing in the hotel’s “pre-event” waiting room, riding on a bus to the airplane hanger/sound stage, hanging out with celebrities, playing games, and having a fantastic time. There is even a great picture of him with a celebrity his size! Here he is with Sam Gordon – the 9 year old football phenom. (Check her out here!)

Justin and Sam

Justin found a girl who knows how to “score!”

I walked over to Justin and asked, “Did you have a good time at the show yesterday?” He nodded and then uttered the five words I was hoping I would never hear from my 6 year old, “The Post Party was awesome!”

“Oh…Crap.” I thought.

The first time I heard the term “Post Party” was when I was a 20 year old assistant at a small talent agency. I was invited to a film premiere by a young starlet who brought me to her film’s “After Party” and then lured me to a “Post Party” at a massive house in the Hollywood Hills. I was young and stupid and didn’t understand that the purpose of a “Post Party” was for all of the ‘cool kids’ to be able to continue to party in ways that the general public probably would not approve of. It’s one thing when you know what you’re about to get yourself into. It’s a little different when you unexpectedly find yourself at the crossroads where “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” meets “Caligula.” Ok….from what I remember – it really was a fun night.

It was now 17 years later and I found myself sitting next to my six year old son who was still recovering from the sensory overload of a high octane party that included pumping music, blinding strobe lights, a never-ending candy buffet, and a celebrity smorgasbord. That was his “post party.” I kept thinking to myself….I hope he likes the cold weather because I’m about send him to the East Coast where he can spend the next 13 years living with his Aunt and Uncle and far away from the influences of Hollywood!!