“Take my mommy, please!”

While on the way to school one morning, Justin announced that he wanted to tell me something funny. Without warning, Justin began doing stand-up jokes in the back of my car. There was no cover charge…no 2 drink minimum…and no warm-up act. Justin just went for it!

Q: Why did the Vampire drink blood?

A: Because he was King Kong.

(Nice…an “Identity Crisis” joke. This could be the “Who’s on First?” for the next generation!)

Q: Why did people walk in the ‘80s?

A: Because cars hadn’t been invented yet.

(Good – he’s reaching out to the older folks in the crowd with a “Remember When” joke.)

Q: Why did the Bee stay home?

A: He was online.

(Excellent follow-up. Making the jokes relevant to the social media followers!)

Q: Why don’t cactuses need water?

A: Cause they don’t!

(Interesting. An honest “Think Piece!” Bold move at this point in his act.)

Q: Why don’t flowers dance in the ‘70s?

A: Hey look – a Starbucks!! Let’s get a soy chai latte!!

(Wow – excellent social commentary on the carefree days of the past verses the large corporations’ evil agenda to caffeinate (drug) and shorten the attention span of the youth!)

I was waiting for him to end his act with a “You’ve been a great audience” or “Thank you, Cleveland! You’ve been great!” Instead, he went with a “Bye, daddy. See you after school.”

I’m waiting for Louie C.K. or Chris Rock to steal Justin’s material! I dare any road-tested comedian to compete with that act!!!