“Mr. Blutarsky… ZERO POINT ZERO” (updated and revised)

Update on Friday, August 17th: GWE and I have opted to remove Justin from the public school he had been attending for a day and a half. He has now been placed in a much better environment! Yesterday, I contacted his former school to notify them that he would not be returning. The first person I spoke with did not understand the words that were coming out of my mouth. The second person I spoke with acknowledged what I was saying, but then asked me to fax over a letter explaining why. I told her that I would prefer to send an email. After two tries, (because I was given inaccurate email addresses on two separate calls) the email went through. This morning, I received the following email:

Hello. This is [BLANK] ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, calling to notify you that our most recent information shows your child, JUSTIN, was either tardy or absent from one or more periods, 1, today. Please send a note explaining the absence when your child returns to school. High academic achievement requires regular attendance. We expect your child will achieve an attendance rate above 95 percent. Should you have any questions, please call the school at (XXX) XXX-XXXX. Thank you for helping us provide your child with a quality education.”

Allow me to point out a few things:

1) The school was notified that Justin would not be in attendance by both a phone call from me and an email – yesterday. Yet, when I called the same front office this morning to clarify, they still did not know that he had been un-enrolled.

2) Justin is a Kindergartener. If a Kindergartener failed to attend class (or worse, went missing), shouldn’t that warrant a little more than an email notification??

3) Justin not only missed one period today, but he missed the ENTIRE day yesterday! Where was yesterday’s notification? Did they not take attendance yesterday? Did they think he was there???

If you’ve been a follower of this blog (or know me personally), you know that it takes a lot to rattle me. I do not get pissed easily. However, had it not been for my wife’s ability to soothe my aggravation, I would be in our former public school office right now pointing out each and every misspelling, grammatical error, and systematic issue I’ve had with them from even before Justin started there.

Originally posted on Monday, August 13th, but retracted….until now: I am extremely excited about Justin starting Kindergarten tomorrow. However, I have become increasingly concerned about the level of education he is about to receive. I (along with every other parent in the district who has a child attending this particular school) have now received two notices from the Principal. The first memo referred to the children as “Stuents.” I was not pleased, but chalked it up to “accidental misspelling.” However, the second memo is below. I’ve chosen to make some corrections in red…just like a teacher.

Hello Families,

This is Name Withheld (How about “I am Name Withheld?”), principal of Blank elementary school (Why are the “E” and “S” of “elementary” and “school” not capitalized? It is the proper name of the school, isn’t it?) calling** (Really? You’re calling me?? Because this looks like an email to me!) you to remind you that the first day of school is tomorrow, Tuesday, August 14. Students need to arrive at school by 7:55am. All new students will report to the auditorium. Students who attended Blank last year will report to their old classrooms. Please be reminded that tomorrow is an early dismissal (an early dismissal of what?) at 1:28pm. (Could you not wait two more minutes?) Please pick up children on time (Whose children??? Mine? My neighbors? Could you be more specific??). The meal price has been changed. The full price of the breakfast is now $1.00 and lunch is $1.50. (This is awkwardly worded.) We are sending an opening packet home tomorrow with students. (How about “Tomorrow, we will be sending each student home with an Opening Packet?”) Please read all of them (Them what? A packet is a singular item.) carefully as they pertain to school rules and policies. Thank you for listening (Unless I read this out loud to myself, I didn’t listen to anything…I read it.) and see you tomorrow.

** I think what the Principal is referring to is that there is an audio component (either a voice-mail or an audio link) to these emails. However, neither memo has actually given an explanation of that.

It may be true that I am a “snob” when it comes to the benefits of a private school education versus a public school education. And, yes – I am also a sarcastic asshole at times because my tolerance for stupidity is low. However, I expect more than grammatical errors and poor sentence structure from someone who is about to become responsible for the education of my child.

The last thing any child needs is to be home-schooled….by me!

 

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