Category Archives: Garrett

Bathtub Commuter Garrett

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Plane

Garrett got a bath this evening. After he gets cleaned, he likes to have a few moments of privacy in the bathtub to collect his thoughts and play with a few toys. He forbids me from being in the bathroom with him for this portion of the “evening cleansing,” so instead I folded laundry 10 feet away from him in the bedroom. This is what I overheard him say:

“Hi! Oh, you want to get on the airplane? Ok. Yes….uh, huh. That’s interesting.”

Honestly, it was a little weird to hear this conversation coming from the bathtub. It sounded like he really was talking to someone. And then, he said the weirdest/funniest thing:

“Huh! When did YOU start flying commercial?”

Apparently, my 4 year old is very judgmental of other peoples’ flying habits….. from his bathtub!

Putt-Putt (Almost A Contact Sport)

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Golf-1

It was a warm, sunny Sunday afternoon and Justin, Garrett, and I had nothing to do. GWE was on a flight to Toronto for a business trip and it was the first day of “Guy’s Week” aka “Home Alone: The Dad Edition.” As I looked at both boys lounging lazily on the sofa, I saw their pale skin and round bellies and thought they needed to be playing outside. Fresh air, physical activity, and sunshine would do them some good! However, I couldn’t get them to go to the back yard. No amount of passively saying “go outside” seemed to work.

And then, I had an idea! I walked over to the television, turned it off (to the sounds of bitter complaining and crying,) and told the boys to get in the car….or else. (“Or else” works a lot more than you might think!)

As we pulled up to the putt-putt place, both Garrett and Justin ‘excitedly’ screamed, “NO!!! WE DON’T WANT TO GO HERE!!” I turned around and informed them both that whenever they decide to get their driver’s license and buy their own car, they can go wherever they want! (Right…..that’s not going to come back and bite me in the ass in 6 years, 11 months, and 4 days from now.)

With anger in their eyes and hatred in their hearts (probably towards me,) they walked into the Sherman Oaks Castle Park. They were so angry at me, that I thought it would be hilarious to make them smile and look like they were having a good time. This is the picture:

Golf-2

I swear, they were not having a good time. They were angry!

Here is the problem with taking a 9 year old and a 4 year old to putt-putt. The 9 year old has spent months taking real golf lessons and is now competitive when it comes to the game of golf. He wants to play by the rules and WIN by the rules. The 4 year old DOES NOT WANT TO LOSE to his brother, but he also doesn’t want to follow the rules of the game either. So, this is what would happen: Justin would line up his shot, take his stroke, and usually be in the cup after 1 or 2 putts. Garrett would hit his first ball, run after it, pick it up, and then run over to the cup and drop it in.

Needless to say, Justin was having a meltdown every time Garrett did this and would get very upset because he felt as though Garrett was cheating. On the other hand, Garrett would see Justin get the ball into the cup first and then have an even bigger meltdown because he refused to lose to his brother. No matter how much I tried to explain to them that they were not playing against one another…..they saw it as all-out war against one another.

We only made it to the 6th hole before I gave up. Once Garrett tried to attack his brother with the golf club while screaming unintelligible words all the while having streams of tears coming down from his eyes and lines of snot pouring out of this nose, I thought….ok, we’re done.

Once we were in the car and everyone had calmed down, I heard Garrett ask, “Daddy? Can we come back tomorrow?”

Not kidding. He really said it.

 

Parenting can be Alarming

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2_1-Alarm-SystemsThere are hundreds of decisions you need to make on a daily basis as a parent. Some of these decisions include: “Is my kid wearing warm enough clothing?”, “How much homework I am supposed to help with?”, and “How loud am I supposed to yell when scolding a 4 year old for not following directions?” (Correct answer: Loud enough to get your point across, but quiet enough so that the neighbors don’t call the police.)

Lately, there has been a new decision I’ve been grappling with. Maybe I’m alone in this or maybe you’ve thought of it too.

We have an alarm system in the house and every time we leave, we turn it on. The boys know to wait by the door until the alarm is set. Once it is on, they know there’s a time limit to open the door…walk out…and then close the door. They’ve been great about getting out in time.

However…..

There have been more than one occasion when I’ve set the alarm, watched the boys walk out the door….and then I’ve thought about racing to the door, slamming it shut, and locking myself in with the alarm on.

Door

Anyone else? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller??

 

My Son’s Kitchen

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Kitchen1

One of the things I really enjoy doing on Saturday and Sunday morning is sitting outside on our porch with a nice breakfast while watching cooking shows…one after another after another. There is something calming about a quiet morning with a good cup of coffee while salivating over Giada, Ree, or Bobby Flay’s creations. (I’ve been known to watch an old episode of “2 Fat Ladies” on YouTube if I can’t find something good on.”)

Over the past few months, Garrett has decided to join me in my “happy place.” At first, he was more interested in playing fireman and pretending the wicker seat I was relaxing in was really his firetruck. But after a few minutes of running around like a crazy person, he settled in quietly next to me and watched as these TV cooking hosts created amazing (or, sometimes not) dishes.

Garrett has always been interested in cooking. He’s always joining me in the kitchen to help me make whatever I’m cooking or he’s simply offering to work the coffee maker for me. Garrett has become very involved in the culinary adventures in our house. He even created his own kitchen in our bar and is happy to take orders and “cook” whatever is requested when guests come over.

So, for his 4th birthday – Grandma Penny and Papa Jeff bought him is own kitchen. Here is the video of Garrett getting his own kitchen:


The very first thing he did was pick-up the phone and order a pizza!!! I’m not kidding!!

It’s Only Rock & Roll (But, Garrett Likes It) Part 2

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GuitarGarrettAs you saw last week, Garrett loves Rock & Roll. He loves the pounding beat of the drums, the rhythm of a bass guitar, and the wailing sound of a forceful lead guitar. Turns out, on top of all of that, Garrett also has a flair for the “presentation” of Rock & Roll as well!

While making a pit stop at one of our favorite video game stores, Garrett got a chance to express his inner-Rock God. He grabbed the guitar from the new Guitar Hero game, got into position, and began to do (what can only be described as) an impression of Pete-Townsend-meets-Jimi-Hendrix with a touch of Chuck Berry and the look of Buddy Holly or Elvis Costello.

In the middle of the store, Garrett began to rock out with his (bleep) out! Grown men wanted to be him. Grown women wanted to take him home! Grown store clerks want him to put it back! It was quite a sight for all to see.

Here is a little bit of the performance my son bestowed upon the shopping customers of Gamestop!

It’s Only Rock & Roll (But, Garrett Likes It)

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pic-in-carOne of the things that Garrett likes the most about The Hotmobile is his ability to command the car (me) to play any music he wants at a moment’s notice…as long as it’s on my iPod or iPhone. I’ve heard “The Lego Movie” soundtrack two thousand times and I’ve heard the “Spongebob” soundtrack three thousand times. If I hear the “Goofy Goober” song or “The Campfire Song” one more time – not only will I rip my own ears off of my head, but I’ll shred them in the kitchen disposal!

So, here we were with Garrett listening to “kiddie” songs over and over and Justin’s music program at school having him sing garbage songs* like “Shut Up and Dance.” To be fair, they altered the chorus to “Come On and Dance,” but every kid singing knew what the original words were.

(*Just to be clear, I’m not a prude when it comes to music. I am, however, not thrilled when my son’s school’s music department chooses songs where the students have to go out of their way to avoid singing inappropriate lyrics. Just because a song has been “Disney-fied” and made kid-friendly, doesn’t automatically make it appropriate for a school performance.)

By the way – I’m a complete hypocrite. You’re about to find out why.

At some point, it dawned on me that The Hotmobile could become our musical classroom. It would give me a chance to “educate” my boys on the evolution of music. We started with The Beatles, (Early) Rolling Stones, Buddy Holly, Muddy Waters, James Taylor, Billy Joel, The Who, etc. It gave me a chance to give them more music to listen to than they were being exposed to.

What I learned was that Justin gravitated towards Soul, R&B, and Hip-Hop. On the other hand, Garrett really surprised me. He likes Rock & Roll. Correction, he LOVES classic Rock & Roll whenever he hears it. He screams “ROCK & ROLL” at the top of his lungs while doing either ‘air guitar’ or ‘air drums.’ The moment he heard the first notes of AC/DC’s “Back in Black,” he was hooked. I could see him rockin’ out in the rear view mirror!

For your enjoyment, I have attached a video of both Garrett and Justin enjoying one of life’s simple pleasures: Rock & Roll and screaming “bad” words in front of adults. (My dad is in the middle of this “sing-along!”)