Gimme Shelter, Part 1

While standing in the backyard one afternoon, I noticed that I had a metal shed. I always knew it was there because I had been using it for storage. But for some reason, I didn’t really SEE it until that moment. I grabbed a measuring tape to see how large it was. It turns out that I have an 9.6 x 8.5, A-framed shed sitting on a concrete slab in my back yard! That’s over 80 square feet of space!! At that moment, I decided that it was time to make our shed functional.

My first thought was – MAN CAVE!! Then, I realized that I had two children to think about and a wife who I would have to “sell” this idea to. So, the idea morphed into a Man Cave/Play Area/Storage Unit for toys/ Reading Room/ Wreck Room/ Work Shed. Or, “MCPASUTRRWRWS!!” (Ok, we need a better name for it.)

The first step: clean out the shed!

I enlisted Justin’s help. (see, “Justin is Such a Tool”) I took him to Home Depot and bought him gloves, goggles, and a facemask. We returned home and began hauling out all of the junk that had been piling up in the shed. We pulled out a lawn mower, weed wackers, paint cans, bug killer, floor tiles, roofing shingles, carpet samples, hedge clippers, old sprinklers, etc. We put each item into one of three piles – 1) Save in garage, 2) “Dangerous” – store outside, or 3) Garbage.

I also pulled out an old, dilapidated wooden stand from a table that was no longer in use. I brought it into the middle of the yard and handed Justin a real hammer. He looked confused as he kept shifting his gaze between me, the table, and the hammer.

“Smash it!” I yelled!

“Huh?” he replied.

I yelled louder – “JUSTIN SMASH!!!” (like “HULK SMASH!!”) He gently tapped it three or four times.

“No,” I said. And with my own hammer, I slammed it into the wood repeatedly while grunting like a wild animal. Wood chips began flying everywhere and giant, gaping holes began to appear one after the other. When I was done, I looked over and Justin’s mouth was open, drool was coming out, and he had a look of primal excitement as he approached the table. Then, in slow motion, (as if he was one of the apes in the beginning of “2001: A Space Odyssey”) he lifted the hammer over his head and began to destroy each and every bit of connective wood paneling that he could find. When he was done, he dropped the hammer by his side and just observed the remains of his handiwork.

At this point, the shed has been cleaned out and we are waiting for Jose to get back to us with estimates so that we can add ventilation.

We’ll continue to update GenXDaddy with our adventures in “Shedding!”

1 thought on “Gimme Shelter, Part 1

  1. Pingback: Gimme Shelter, Pt. 2 | Gen X Daddy

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