Garrett’s Five Finger Yo-Kai Discount

Posted on Feb 3, 2016 by Jason

This is Whisper

As a parent, there are times when you have to decide to either react immediately to something your child did or ‘wait and see.’ If your child were to run up to someone and hit them, then you’d react. But sometimes….there’s a grey area. There are times when something bad happens, but maybe it was an accident or perhaps good intentions accidentally led to a bad decision. This is one such story:

Justin has become a Yo-Kai Watch fanatic. It’s a toy watch that is part of a role-playing game. The watch is supposed to help the person wearing it identify other Yo-Kai who haunt people and cause mischief. (Imagine Pokemon with a watch.)

Since Justin has become enamored with Yo-Kai, so has his little brother. (Garrett’s really only interested in it because Justin is.) Garrett wants to watch Yo-Kai with Justin, play the Yo-Kai video game with Justin, and even watch Yo-Kai on TV with Justin.

On Saturday, I decided to take Justin and Garrett out to the mall. I made it clear that they were allowed to buy one small toy each. Garrett found a small Lego toy that he wanted in Target. After Target, Justin dragged all of us to GameStop to see if they had any Yo-Kai tokens for his watch. They did and I allowed him to buy three packages.

While Justin was shopping, I took a step back and allowed Garrett to browse the aisles of the store as well. He clearly knew I was there, but he probably didn’t think I was watching him closely. With the Target bag in one hand, I could see him casually pick up another toy, check it out, and then put it back on the shelf. However, when he found a stuffed animal version of Whisper from the Yo-Kai world, he held onto it longer than he had with the other toys. And then, I saw him put it in the Target bag and walk away. (By the way, Whisper looks like a giant sperm. Seriously. He’s translucent/white with a tail. He’s a sperm.)

Here’s the moment when I could have reacted, but I decided to wait. Was he shoplifting or was he having an absent-minded moment? I wasn’t sure.

After a few moments, he walked up to me and asked me to hold his Target bag so he could continue to look around. I agreed. As he walked away, I looked in the bag and saw Whisper staring back at me…and imagined him quietly mouthing the words “Help me!”

I removed him from the bag, put him back on the shelf, and didn’t say anything to Garrett. I honestly could not tell if he had done this purposely or if it was an accident. So, I decided to wait. I would not have to wait long.

About an hour later, we arrived home. I unlocked Garrett’s car door, unbuckled him, and handed him his Target bag. He took the handles of the bag, spread them apart to look into his bag, and only saw his Lego toy.

He looked up at me with an expression of stunned dismay and outrage. With a furrowed brow he screamed, “HEY!?!?!?! WHERE’S WHISPER??? HE WAS IN MY BAG!!” (It was like a movie moment when the thief realizes that he had been double-crossed.) He was so angry that he checked the bag a second time. Nope….Whisper still wasn’t there. I told him that I saw what he did and returned the toy to where it belonged. The look he gave me after rechecking his ‘stash’ said, “I’ll get you for this!”

Well, that answered that. My 4-year old was a thief and he got double-crossed by his own father!

There’s no Whisper here!

Bathtub Commuter Garrett

Posted on Feb 2, 2016 by Jason

Garrett got a bath this evening. After he gets cleaned, he likes to have a few moments of privacy in the bathtub to collect his thoughts and play with a few toys. He forbids me from being in the bathroom with him for this portion of the “evening cleansing,” so instead I folded laundry 10 feet away from him in the bedroom. This is what I overheard him say:

“Hi! Oh, you want to get on the airplane? Ok. Yes….uh, huh. That’s interesting.”

Honestly, it was a little weird to hear this conversation coming from the bathtub. It sounded like he really was talking to someone. And then, he said the weirdest/funniest thing:

“Huh! When did YOU start flying commercial?”

Apparently, my 4 year old is very judgmental of other peoples’ flying habits….. from his bathtub!

Putt-Putt (Almost A Contact Sport)

Posted on Jan 28, 2016 by Jason

It was a warm, sunny Sunday afternoon and Justin, Garrett, and I had nothing to do. GWE was on a flight to Toronto for a business trip and it was the first day of “Guy’s Week” aka “Home Alone: The Dad Edition.” As I looked at both boys lounging lazily on the sofa, I saw their pale skin and round bellies and thought they needed to be playing outside. Fresh air, physical activity, and sunshine would do them some good! However, I couldn’t get them to go to the back yard. No amount of passively saying “go outside” seemed to work.

And then, I had an idea! I walked over to the television, turned it off (to the sounds of bitter complaining and crying,) and told the boys to get in the car….or else. (“Or else” works a lot more than you might think!)

As we pulled up to the putt-putt place, both Garrett and Justin ‘excitedly’ screamed, “NO!!! WE DON’T WANT TO GO HERE!!” I turned around and informed them both that whenever they decide to get their driver’s license and buy their own car, they can go wherever they want! (Right…..that’s not going to come back and bite me in the ass in 6 years, 11 months, and 4 days from now.)

With anger in their eyes and hatred in their hearts (probably towards me,) they walked into the Sherman Oaks Castle Park. They were so angry at me, that I thought it would be hilarious to make them smile and look like they were having a good time. This is the picture:

I swear, they were not having a good time. They were angry!

Here is the problem with taking a 9 year old and a 4 year old to putt-putt. The 9 year old has spent months taking real golf lessons and is now competitive when it comes to the game of golf. He wants to play by the rules and WIN by the rules. The 4 year old DOES NOT WANT TO LOSE to his brother, but he also doesn’t want to follow the rules of the game either. So, this is what would happen: Justin would line up his shot, take his stroke, and usually be in the cup after 1 or 2 putts. Garrett would hit his first ball, run after it, pick it up, and then run over to the cup and drop it in.

Needless to say, Justin was having a meltdown every time Garrett did this and would get very upset because he felt as though Garrett was cheating. On the other hand, Garrett would see Justin get the ball into the cup first and then have an even bigger meltdown because he refused to lose to his brother. No matter how much I tried to explain to them that they were not playing against one another…..they saw it as all-out war against one another.

We only made it to the 6^th hole before I gave up. Once Garrett tried to attack his brother with the golf club while screaming unintelligible words all the while having streams of tears coming down from his eyes and lines of snot pouring out of this nose, I thought….ok, we’re done.

Once we were in the car and everyone had calmed down, I heard Garrett ask, “Daddy? Can we come back tomorrow?”

Not kidding. He really said it.

My Son’s Kitchen

Posted on Jan 12, 2016 by Jason

One of the things I really enjoy doing on Saturday and Sunday morning is sitting outside on our porch with a nice breakfast while watching cooking shows…one after another after another. There is something calming about a quiet morning with a good cup of coffee while salivating over Giada, Ree, or Bobby Flay’s creations. (I’ve been known to watch an old episode of “2 Fat Ladies” on YouTube if I can’t find something good on.”)

Over the past few months, Garrett has decided to join me in my “happy place.” At first, he was more interested in playing fireman and pretending the wicker seat I was relaxing in was really his firetruck. But after a few minutes of running around like a crazy person, he settled in quietly next to me and watched as these TV cooking hosts created amazing (or, sometimes not) dishes.

Garrett has always been interested in cooking. He’s always joining me in the kitchen to help me make whatever I’m cooking or he’s simply offering to work the coffee maker for me. Garrett has become very involved in the culinary adventures in our house. He even created his own kitchen in our bar and is happy to take orders and “cook” whatever is requested when guests come over.

So, for his 4th birthday – Grandma Penny and Papa Jeff bought him is own kitchen. Here is the video of Garrett getting his own kitchen:

The very first thing he did was pick-up the phone and order a pizza!!! I’m not kidding!!

It’s Only Rock & Roll (But, Garrett Likes It) Part 2

Posted on Dec 8, 2015 by Jason

As you saw last week, Garrett loves Rock & Roll. He loves the pounding beat of the drums, the rhythm of a bass guitar, and the wailing sound of a forceful lead guitar. Turns out, on top of all of that, Garrett also has a flair for the “presentation” of Rock & Roll as well!

While making a pit stop at one of our favorite video game stores, Garrett got a chance to express his inner-Rock God. He grabbed the guitar from the new Guitar Hero game, got into position, and began to do (what can only be described as) an impression of Pete-Townsend-meets-Jimi-Hendrix with a touch of Chuck Berry and the look of Buddy Holly or Elvis Costello.

In the middle of the store, Garrett began to rock out with his (bleep) out! Grown men wanted to be him. Grown women wanted to take him home! Grown store clerks want him to put it back! It was quite a sight for all to see.

Here is a little bit of the performance my son bestowed upon the shopping customers of Gamestop!

I Caved and I Kragled It

Posted on Dec 1, 2015 by Jason

Legos are a fantastic toy. Justin loves them. Garrett loves them. Heck – even I still love them. You know when I don’t love them? A) When I step on them in the middle of the night? B) When I’ve been asked by Garrett to rebuild his Lego toy after he’s purposely smashed it for the 50th time.

One of the few smart things I’ve ever done is to keep all of the Lego instruction manuals away from the kids and in a waterproof, Ziplock bag. No earthquake, flood, or other natural disaster will destroy the Rosetta Stone of Lego instructions I’ve saved.

Justin is the kid who is perfectly fine building his Legos from the instructions one time and then destroying them to build something from his imagination. Garrett is the kid who needs it rebuilt the way it is on the box over and over again.

For Garrett’s birthday this year, he requested one of the largest Lego structures that’s currently sold – The Lego Fire Station. In addition to that, he also got other Lego sets from other family members.

I still love building Legos….but, the thought of building these massive structures only to have Garrett destroy them and then beg me to rebuild them gave me ‘Lego Anxiety.’ I was so apprehensive about the task that it took me five days to summon the courage to begin this project. 5 DAYS!!! Garrett had the patience of a saint to wait 5 days for me to build the one toy he’d been begging for for months.

As I stood in the kitchen staring at the Lego box, I had an epiphany. Maybe “President Business” from “The Lego Movie” wasn’t the bad guy after all! Maybe his son was a jerk who kept messing up his stuff, even when he was told not to!! Maybe the Master Builders were idiots!!!!

In that moment, I reached into the kitchen cabinet, grabbed the Krazy Glue, and did what every Lego enthusiast tells you not to do. I became “Lord Business” and I glued every piece of that Lego Fire Station together…brick by brick!

I did it to prevent Garrett from destroying my hard work! I did it to save my sanity! And, I did it while singing “Everything is Awesome!”

To Live and Dad in LA

Adventures in Being A Dad

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