I Caved and I Kragled It

Lego-1Legos are a fantastic toy. Justin loves them. Garrett loves them. Heck – even I still love them. You know when I don’t love them? A) When I step on them in the middle of the night? B) When I’ve been asked by Garrett to rebuild his Lego toy after he’s purposely smashed it for the 50th time.

One of the few smart things I’ve ever done is to keep all of the Lego instruction manuals away from the kids and in a waterproof, Ziplock bag. No earthquake, flood, or other natural disaster will destroy the Rosetta Stone of Lego instructions I’ve saved.

Justin is the kid who is perfectly fine building his Legos from the instructions one time and then destroying them to build something from his imagination. Garrett is the kid who needs it rebuilt the way it is on the box over and over again.

For Garrett’s birthday this year, he requested one of the largest Lego structures that’s currently sold – The Lego Fire Station. In addition to that, he also got other Lego sets from other family members.

I still love building Legos….but, the thought of building these massive structures only to have Garrett destroy them and then beg me to rebuild them gave me ‘Lego Anxiety.’ I was so apprehensive about the task that it took me five days to summon the courage to begin this project. 5 DAYS!!! Garrett had the patience of a saint to wait 5 days for me to build the one toy he’d been begging for for months.

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As I stood in the kitchen staring at the Lego box, I had an epiphany. Maybe “President Business” from “The Lego Movie” wasn’t the bad guy after all! Maybe his son was a jerk who kept messing up his stuff, even when he was told not to!! Maybe the Master Builders were idiots!!!!

In that moment, I reached into the kitchen cabinet, grabbed the Krazy Glue, and did what every Lego enthusiast tells you not to do. I became “Lord Business” and I glued every piece of that Lego Fire Station together…brick by brick!

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I did it to prevent Garrett from destroying my hard work! I did it to save my sanity! And, I did it while singing “Everything is Awesome!”

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Today Is Justin’s 8th Birthday!

Baby Justin

“Put me back!!! I’m not ready yet!!”

Eight years ago, I looked down at my newborn son and thought, “Wow. This kid’s ugly.” He was wrinkly, slimy, hairy, and he was missing his teeth! He looked exactly like my Grandpa Eli. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Justin from the moment I saw him. (And, I was very fond of Grandpa Eli, too.) I just wasn’t prepared for the fact that Justin didn’t look like the Gerber Baby immediately after he was delivered. As the nurses cleaned him off, I remembered slipping off one latex glove and putting my bare hand on his chest. I knew I had to be the first person to touch this child…and I was. We have been inseparable ever since. Today may be Justin’s 8th birthday, but to me it’s a reminder that the last 8 years have been the best time of my life.

Dear Justin – What an unbelievable year you have had. I don’t even know where to begin. You have grown so much physically and emotionally. You have excelled in school, made lots of new friends, and you’ve been a wonderful (and helpful) brother to Garrett. You have made us laugh with your goofy puns, you’ve amazed us with your incredible reading and storytelling, and (begrudgingly) I will admit that you have become a better “Gamer” than I will ever be. Although – I still blame you for burning down my Minecraft house!

Together, we’ve played video games, built Lego projects, read books (you love “Harry Potter”), done massive homework projects, cooked, fished, (and then cooked the fish…which you refused to eat), thrown the baseball around, gone swimming, taken vacations, and so much more. I love sitting next to you while watching “America’s Funniest Home Videos” because your laughter is infectious. And, I love taking you out to play golf. Like any true golfer, you complain all the way to the golf course. But, once you’re there, you play better than me and then complain when we have to leave.

Watching you grow up this year has been incredible and I can’t wait to see how great “8” will be!!

Love you,

Daddy

PS. – You weren’t that ugly when you were born. You were more like a gooey, screaming, albino raisin!

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Happy Birthday, Justin!!

 

Five Things I’ve Learn about Garrett (on His Third Birthday)

BdayAs we celebrated Garrett’s 3rd birthday this weekend, I thought back over how he’s grown up during the past 12 months. He has transformed from a babbling, drooling, ball of energy to a very talkative, semi-drooling, ball of energy! Garrett has made lots of friends, learned lots of new words, and is always ready for the next experience. It truly has been fascinating watching Garrett and Justin grow up. Two boys from the same parents with such different personalities and interests. As I look back over the last year, I’ve learned a lot about Garrett. Here are the top five things that I’ve discovered about him:

  1. He is the “Outdoor Kid” and his brother is the “Indoor Kid.” I can’t get Justin to come out of the house and I can’t get Garrett to come back inside. If it wasn’t for the fence surrounding our house, he would have left home months ago in search of adventure. With his “Lightning Queen” car charged, his playhouse nearby, and my grill ready at a moment’s notice –  he could happily be outside for hours upon hours. We even had a couple of evenings when he didn’t want to come in so we laid out some blankets and watched the stars and moon go by. Garrett has no fear of being outside or encountering any wildlife. I’ve seen him yell at the squirrels who try to steal the bird food and I’ve watched as he’s chased after the rabbits when they cross the yard.
  2. He is very particular about who does something for him. Much like his mother, Garrett wants to “direct” the action around him. He is very specific about who he wants doing certain things. It’s not uncommon to hear him say, “No, I don’t want you to do that!” or “I don’t want to get into your car. I want to get into mommy’s car.” Garrett will even direct the changing of his own diaper. “Be GENTLE!!” he’ll yell. Or, “I want the butt cream.” He’s even been specific about the type of diaper he wears. “No, daddy. I don’t want that one. I want the night time diaper!!” Once he learns to negotiate, we’re screwed.
  3. He has one obsession: Garages! Some children like playing with cars and trains. Some like boats and airplanes. My son loves garages! Whenever the garage door opener is in my car, he wants to play with it and watch the door go up and down and up and down. Whenever he visits “GrandmaBob,” he has to play with theirs as well. Garrett has even instructed our neighbors to open and close their garages when he sees them. Much like his Grandpa Bob and his obsession with stereo equipment, Garrett will begin to discuss the pros and cons of garages and garage doors going up and down with friends and strangers alike….even if the conversation has nothing to do with garages. Because it’s important to him, he’ll make sure it’s important to you!
  4. He has A LOT of energy (and a “streak” of exhibitionism.) On Saturday night, after a full day of playing, running around, celebrating his birthday, eating cake, climbing all over the Tumblebees Bus, bouncing like a maniac in a bounce house, taking a bath, and eating dinner….he still had enough energy to vigorously bounce up and down on his new trampoline WAY after his older brother had passed out on the sofa. THAT’S a lot of energy. And…most people mellow out after a nice long bath, but not my son. You know his bath is about to begin (and/or just ended) when you hear “NAKED BABYYYYYY” just seconds before a butt-naked toddler zips by laughing hysterically.
  5. Garrett is a great kid. Yes, every parent thinks their kid is great. The problem is, they’re wrong….and my kid really is great. Over the past year we’ve had to deal with new issues that never arose with Justin. There have been moments of frustration, aggravation, and serious consideration of either (or both) parents running away from home. But given a little time and some perspective, we’ve come to the conclusion that Garrett was simply going through some growing phases that just needed a little more patience. He is a happy, well-adjusted, fun, energetic, and sweet little boy. Garrett is empathetic, inquisitive, and sometimes just wants to be silly. I wouldn’t change a thing about him.

While the list of things I’ve learned about Garrett this year far extends past these five items, these are the things I thought were the most important. No one needs to know that because of Garrett I’ve learned how to speed to an emergency room, catch vomit mid-air, or verbally address mediocre daycare providers in such a way that makes them want to rethink their professional choices. I’ve also learned from Garrett that garages come in all shapes and sizes, that he loves running into Justin’s room just to piss Justin off (and to play with his stereo,) and that Garrett is at the perfect height to kick me right in the “Huevos de Padre” whenever I hold him.

All in all, it’s been a pretty good year! Happy Birthday, Monkey!!

The Magic of A Garage Door

Having observed Garrett closely since his second birthday, I’ve come to the conclusion that the perfect age of life is 2. I know everyone warns you about the “Terrible Twos” (and I have a friend who believes that nothing is worse than the “F*@&ing Fours”), but Justin was a breeze at 2 and so is Garrett.

What I like about this age is that everything is new and exciting to Garrett. Simply going outside is an magnificent experience for him. Eating good food is exhilarating. Waking up and seeing garbage trucks outside his window is absolutely mind-blowing. Each and every experience is met with joy and wonder.

However, the one experience that has topped them all is the opening and closing of the garage door at the new house. We had a garage door at the old house, but it was manual. The garage door at the new house is electric!

I won’t tell you how Garrett experiences it. Instead, I’d prefer to show you: