It began while riding in the car (as always) with Justin leaning over and whispering into Garrett’s ear, “Garrett, did you know that daddy’s name is Jason?” Garrett turned to him and gave him a look of absurdity and responded, “No, it’s not.”
“Yes! Daddy’s name is Jason.” Justin announced again, feeling slightly intellectually superior to his younger brother.
“NO…IT’S….NOT!!” yelled Garrett. “IT’S DADDY!”
“Yes, but his REAL name is Jason,” clarified Justin.
“NO….NO….NO….IT’S NOT!!! Daddy’s name is daddy! YOU SHUT UP!” screamed Garrett as he tried to defend my honor.
Justin did not like being told to shut up. Especially, from his younger brother. In an attempt to ‘one-up’ Garrett and deliver more shocking news, Justin continued with, “And, mommy’s name is Audra.”
Garrett, being of limited vocabulary and having had enough of his brother’s bullshit, made the following declaration: “MOMMY IS MOMMY. DADDY IS DADDY. AND NOW I’M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.”
Justin thought it was funny…until Garrett followed through with his threat. A fist was thrown, contact was made….and “Down goes Frazier!! Down goes Frazier!! Down goes Frazier!!”
There’s nothing quite like dropping off two screaming, crying children at camp carpool as they continue to yell at each about the important issues in life….like, my name.