Are You Eating My Muffin???


That’s the muffin in his left hand reflected in the mirror.

One morning last week, Garrett convinced me to get him a muffin for breakfast from “Sexy Starbucks.” We’ve given this nickname to one particular Starbucks because it’s below a yoga studio and another gym that hosts spinning classes. Needless to say, it’s a very good place to do some people watching in the morning! (Especially when Garrett introduces himself to strange women with “Heyyo, Yadies!”)


I finally caved and bought him a muffin. He quietly munched on it while we headed off to school. Once we got to the school’s parking lot, Garrett unbuckled himself and came up to the front passenger seat. He then handed me his muffin so he could play with all the buttons and knobs in my car. While he played with the stereo, the lights, the sunroof, and the glove compartment – I patiently held his muffin.


Periodically, I would take my eyes off of him to look at the muffin. It looked pretty good since I hadn’t had breakfast yet. And then I thought, “He’s not going to miss this little piece on the end.” I pulled off a tiny bit of muffin and ate it. As I was chewing, Garrett turned his head towards me and ask, “Did you eat my muffin?”


“No,” I lied, as I held up the muffin to his face. “It’s your muffin. Why would I eat it?”


He looked at me skeptically, but turned his attention back to the knobs on the car. Once again, I saw another piece of muffin I did not think he would miss. So, I quickly pulled it off and ate it. Again, he turned towards me, looked down at the muffin, and asked, “Are you eating my muffin?”


“No,” I lied again. He gave me the look of “I don’t trust you, but I don’t have proof either.” And again, he went back to playing with my car.


This time, I took a big bite. He turned around to see a chunk missing from the side of his muffin. He could also see the missing chunk in my open mouth.


“DADDY!!!!! YOU ARE EATING MY MUFFIN!!!” he shouted accusingly.


“MOW” I explained with a mouthful of semi-chewed muffin. I swallowed as much as I could as I continued my lie (knowing full-well he was on to me.) “Of course I’m not eating your muffin.”


“BUT… BUT….BUT…I SEE YOU EATING MY MUFFIN!!!!” he stammered in an agitated manner. He was very, very angry…..and then there was a moment of calm.


He pushed his glasses back up his nose, turned towards me, and said, “That’s ok, daddy! You can eat it. I dropped it in the back seat and then stepped on it.”

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