The Tooth Fairy Trap

Tooth

“PROCLAIM LIBERTY [OF BABY TEETH] THROUGHOUT ALL THE LAND UNTO ALL THE INHABITANTS THEREOF LEV. XXV. V X.”

After waiting and waiting and waiting…and waiting a little more, Justin’s loose tooth finally came out while he was at camp yesterday. He proudly showed off the tooth (with the remnants of dried blood still sticking to the base) when he got home. We marveled at his accomplishment and encouraged him to put it in his special “Tooth Book” so that The Tooth Fairy could collect it. Justin disappeared into his room and when I went back to check on him, he had accidentally fallen asleep.

Around 11:00pm, I realized that I hadn’t performed my “Tooth Fairy” duties yet. I grabbed a piece of paper from the home office, wrote him a sweet note thanking him for his tooth, and signed it “The Tooth Fairy.”

What should have been a simple “take the tooth and leave the money,” turned into an adventure worthy of the opening scene from “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” First of all, Justin’s room was pitch black. Of all nights, this was the night he decided to unplug his night light. Second, I had to remember where I had seen the “Tooth Book” last. I thought it was on his desk, but I wasn’t sure if he slid it under his pillow before passing out. I went with the assumption that he put the tooth under his pillow…which was under his head. With one hand I gently lifted up the Mickey Mouse Pillow Pet while I using the other hand  to search the area. I found nothing.

Carefully, I turned my attention to his messy desk – which was supposed to be a nice surface for Justin to do his homework on. In reality, it has become a graveyard for every Lego piece, Captain Underpants book, magic trick, fake aquarium, empty pencil, old (hardened) Play Doh, and Minecraft toy Justin owns. Much like Helen Keller, I was only able to rely on my sense of touch to find the Tooth Book. I must have touched every single item on his desk before finding that book. However, I didn’t just find the book. I found “The Tooth Fairy Trap” Justin had set for The Tooth Fairy!

The Tooth Book has a little “hatch” in the middle where the tooth is stored. In order to get the tooth, you must pop open the hatch! Justin tried to outwit The Tooth Fairy by putting his mini-Liberty Bell on top of the hatch. Smartly, Justin assumed that when The Tooth Fairy lifted the hatch, the bell would ring – and he would be woken up!! His plan almost worked, too!! I felt the bell, but didn’t know what it was. It wasn’t until a millisecond BEFORE I knocked it over that I realized what it was and how loud it could have been! I carefully moved it to the side, collected the tooth, and left the money and a note.

The next time Justin loses a tooth, I’ll retrieve it from his room while wearing a Dental Lab Coat, a fedora on my head, and a bullwhip by my side. I will no longer be known as “The Tooth Fairy.” You can call me “GenXDaddy Decay…Jones!!”

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