Old MacDonald Had Some Boobies

CleavageRecently, Garrett began doing something new during his bedtime routine. GWE would lay him down in the crib while singing, “Old MacDonald had a Farm.” As she rubbed his back, he would start to wiggle his butt and call out animals that he wanted to hear the sounds of. GWE happily obliged by oinking like a pig and mooing like a cow. After hearing GWE sing about 4 or 5 verses with different animals, I decided to join in.

“Old MacDonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-O!

And on that farm he had some…”

I blanked. I could not think of an animal found on a farm, nor could I think of a sound it would make. I had “Farmer’s Block.” So, I blurted out the first thing I could think of: “BOOBIES!” Immediately, I had Garrett’s attention. GWE glared at me with a look of “Oh, you must be kidding me!”

“Old MacDonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-O!

And on that farm he had some….BOOBIES. E-I-E-I-O!”

And then I had to quickly think of what “Boobies” sounded like. Once again, my mouth betrayed my true nature and revealed my inner 12 year old. I began to make the sound of “Motor-Boating” in the next verse.




Old MacDonald had some BOOBIES. E-I-E-I-O!!!!!”

This new verse must have agreed with Garrett because he began to chant, “AGAIN!! AGAIN!!” I did the Boobies verse three more times that night. And, he has requested that verse MULTIPLE times every single night since it began. We have horrified young and old alike with our revised version of this song. GWE has warned me that Garrett was going to go back to daycare with another bad habit he learned from Daddy.

Today, Garrett and his nanny went to a music class at Gymboree. Afterwards, she emailed my wife with the following message:

We sang Old MacDonald in class and immediately after it was over, Garrett looked at the instructor (who was rather buxom) and shouted “BOOBIES!” Everyone laughed. Kids say the darnedest things, right?”

GWE immediately sent me the following message: YOU ARE IN SUCH BIG TROUBLE.


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