5 Things I’ve Learned as a Dad this Summer (So Far)

5There are easily a half dozen stories I’ve been meaning to share with you, but it’s been a busy Summer. While I continue to work on these entries, allow me to share 5 lessons I’ve learned over the past few weeks. Enjoy!

1)      It is impossible to find a Hawaiian shirt for a 6 year old when you really need one. With 48 hours notice, I went to Target, Big Lots, Wal-Mart, Spencers, H&M, JC Penney, Macy’s, Pac Surf, The Disney Store, Gap, Hot Topic, and Old Navy. The only Hawaiian shirt I found was at Build-A-Bear. Justin had two choices that day: 1) “Suck it in” and wear a shirt meant for Island Bear, or 2) Wear daddy’s clothes. He went with daddy’s clothes.

2)      Delta actually has a procedure for cleaning up toddler puke during a flight. While flying back from Atlanta, Garrett decided to vomit 2% milk starting at 19B and going all the way down to 24B (and in the bathroom as well.) Most of it hit the floor, but GWE’s shirt was a casualty as well. In case of a “spew-mergency” – Svetlana (real name) from Delta was trained to sprinkle a magic powder over the vomit. Once the powder settled, she poured a couple of Cokes (apparently this doesn’t work with Diet Coke) over it – thereby turning everything into a Coke/Milk/Puke Slushy….which she then proceeded to scrape into a bucket with what looked like a baby car squeegee. Svetlana did not get paid enough for that flight.

3)      Justin learned that it’s not a good idea to lie to me. During the “Vomit Comet” flight, Justin was completely oblivious to what was happening around him. At one point he turned to me and told me that he needed to use the bathroom. I asked him if he was wearing shoes and he looked me square in the eye and said, “Yes.” I let him out of his seat and the second he stepped into the aisle he turned toward me and asked, “Why is the floor wet?” I looked down to discover that he was NOT wearing shoes. At that moment, I felt as though honesty was the best policy…and a lesson well taught. “Well, Justin. You’re standing in your brother’s vomit.” He laughed. I assured him that I wasn’t kidding and that he really was standing in Coke/Milk/Puke Slushy. His laughter quickly turned to horror. The look on his face – priceless!

4)      As long as Justin has his Nintendo 3DS, he is unaware of everything else around him. GWE and I left the country for 6 days and Justin did not notice. On the other hand, Garrett practically hyperventilated when he saw us return. (Note to self: Garrett loves us more. Time to change The Will.)

5)      Child #2 is trying to play “Will This Flush?” Like his brother, Garrett is on a mission to flush items down the toilet that clog our sewage line and cause the plumbers to return for the 1000th time. It used to be that Garrett would find something he liked from the den and then he would run to his room with the item in an attempt to hide it from us. (The television remote was the most popular item.) Two days ago, I came out of the bedroom to find that someone had left the hallway bathroom door open. As I turned the corner, I discovered Garrett hovering over an open toilet while holding my Xbox remote. After some careful negotiation and a lot of “Garrett, give me the controller if you want to continue living,” I was able to defuse the situation.

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