Where’s the F#$%*^G BINKY?!?!?!?!?!

We were warned early on – child number one will want all of his toys, but won’t be so territorial about them. However, child number two will only want one or two toys…but, god help you if you touch those toys.


Pictured above is The Binky. To be safe, we actually have two of these. There is one in the crib and another in the diaper bag. It is a little “sucky” with an animal attached to the other side.

This toy has prevented nuclear meltdowns, tantrums of epic proportions, and quite possibly prevented Garrett from climbing out of his crib in the middle of the night to kill me in my sleep. I imagine him waking up at 3am and deciding that he doesn’t like how I’ve been blowing raspberries into his belly. He is probably thinking, “I’ve had it with his asshole and his crappy diapering skills. I’m going to smother him with his pillow tonight.” And then “suck…suck…suck,” he’s asleep again.

For about a week, Binky #1 disappeared and we had to use Binky #2 in its place. GWE and I began to panic. We were unclear as to what would happen if Binky #2 also disappeared. We were concerned and talking about what Plan C would be.

Somehow, Binky #1 reappeared in the middle of the crib one afternoon. Our nanny assumed that I found it. I assumed that GWE found it. GWE assumed that the nanny found it. None of us know where it was or how it came back.

I’m starting to wonder if Garrett was running a “Binky Drill” to see how we would react to the loss of his favorite toy. I don’t know if we passed or failed. All I know is that the Binky is back and it’s been LoJacked to prevent future disappearances!

1 thought on “Where’s the F#$%*^G BINKY?!?!?!?!?!

  1. GXD, really? You write, “I’m going to smothering him with his pillow tonight.” And then “suck…suck…suck,” — That sounds a lot like a recent night I had w/ a woman who brought her toys over for us to enjoy ,but they weren’t called “binkys” ~Sherlock!

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