The Mexican (Porcelain) Stand-Off

On Saturday morning I heard Justin yell from the bathroom – “Daddy, I’m all done. Come and wipe my butt.”

I love my son, but I am tired of wiping his ass. He is able to wipe his own butt at school, with his grandparents, and even in public restrooms. However, when we’re at home, his laziness knows no bounds. In an effort to “cut him off cold turkey,” I have openly refused to wipe his butt…but, there are times when I’ve caved. Sometimes, I’d rather just get it over with than to fight it out. I have been weak.

But, on Saturday morning, I decided to stand my ground. “Justin, you are a big boy! You can wipe your own butt.”

“No, Daddy! Come and wipe my butt!” he yelled from down the hall.

“Justin, you can do it. I know you can. Just wipe your own butt.” I demanded/begged.

“Right now, daddy!!” he yelled even louder.

“Justin! I am not going to wipe your butt. You do it.” I said.

“Fine,” he said defiantly. “I’ll wait for mommy to do it.”

(Okay…this was going to be interesting….)

One minute passed…and then another…and then another….

“Daddy?” he said sweetly.

“Yeeesssssss…..” I replied with a smile on my face.

“When is mommy coming home?” he asked.

“Monday night.” I answered. There was silence.

“How many ‘naps’ is that?” he cautiously asked.

“Mommy will be back in two and a half days. Do you want me to bring your meals into the bathroom since you’ll be there for a while?”

With a groan I heard, “Ugh…fine. I’ll wipe it all by myself.”

Daddy: 1 Justin’s Butt: 0

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