Justin Is Such A Tool

(In this picture, Justin is "trapped" between the bottom drawer of the crib and the metal frame that holds the mattress in place.)

I would like to think that I contribute in a meaningful way around the house. I do the dishes, bathe the kids, take out the trash, kill things with more than two legs, and every once in awhile – I’ll vacuum (with a real vacuum, not the Dust Buster.) There are only a couple of things I can’t stand doing. And, there is no greater torture in my house then when I am called upon to raise or lower the mattress in the crib. I was recently asked (about 46 times) to lower the mattress so that Garrett wouldn’t flop out of the crib. Secretly, I delayed doing this because I was really hoping to walk into his room one morning to find him “riding the rail” like a cowboy waiting for his turn on the bull. The pressure from GWE and MOGWE became too great, so I caved and attempted to lower the mattress.

While it sounds like an easy task, it is deceptively complicated. In order to lower the mattress, you must unscrew the bolts on the metal frame that holds the mattress in place and then re-attach the screw and bolt comb into another hole while pushing down a metal “arm” that is spring loaded. This becomes insanely difficult because the new holes line up directly across from the bottom of the wooden frame – thereby blocking the screwdriver from direct access. You must go in at an angle…and you have to do this 4 SEPARATE TIMES!!!

On Saturday, I braced myself for the worst. I emptied the crib of all of Garrett’s toys (and Garrett), lifted it on its end, and began to unscrew what I could reach. With sweat pouring down my face and swear words pouring out of my mouth, I was just about to give up when Justin came into Garrett’s room and asked, “Whatcha doin’?” I stared at him for a moment. Maybe I was delirious from the heat or maybe it was the pain in my back, but when Justin walked in – I saw my oasis. There he stood….tiny hands, tiny fingers, tiny body…AH HA!!!

I quickly grabbed Justin and threw a pair of flat-nosed pliers into his hands. I instructed him to grab the bolt with the pliers and squeeze like he was crushing a bug. While he was squeezing, I quickly went to the other side of the crib and twisted in the screws as fast as possible. We finished an hour long job in about 15 minutes.

As it turned out, Justin was the best tool I ever had!!

3 thoughts on “Justin Is Such A Tool

  1. Pingback: Gimme Shelter, Part 1 | Gen X Daddy

  2. Ha! You’re right, this is a tricky job. I actually built my daughter’s crib/bed, and still don’t like raising and lowering it.

  3. Hi Clint! The manufacturer HAS to know that we’re raising and lowering these things. They couldn’t make it just a little bit easier?? I think they are hoping we’ll just give up and buy new ones!!

    Thanks for the follow!
    JP

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