Gimme Shelter, Pt. 2

Hi Officer! What seems to be the problem??

Ok – I admit that this picture could be used as “evidence” in the future and there are no excuses for my actions. However, there is a perfectly good explanation as to why my 5 ½ year old son is sitting in the front seat of my car (and not his car seat) while a solid core, wooden door (which weighs approximately 75 lbs.) looms over his head. It’s called, “Daddy’s an idiot and didn’t think ahead.”

In an effort to remodel our shed into a useable “MCPASUTRRWRWS,” I decided it would be better to build a desk/work station instead of purchasing one. Since there was nothing else for us to do until Jose The-Fix-It-Man installed the windows and vent, we started on the desk first. After doing some measuring, I figured out that we could easily install a unit that was 80 inches by 24 inches against the east facing wall. After calling around, I found a lumber yard a few miles away from our house and spoke with “Norbert” (real name). He told me that he had just completed a similar project and used a “solid core, wooden door.” He told me that they had plenty in stock and to “come on by.”

On Saturday morning, Justin and I jumped into my car and headed to the lumber yard. The place was filled with giant silos containing all different shapes and sizes of wood. Together, we walked into the main office and were greeted by “Bubba” and “Skeeter.” (real names…on real name tags!) I explained that I had spoken with Norbert about what I needed and then I gave them the measurements. As we waited for them to bring us the door, Justin and I decided to look around.

The building we were in was half office/ half hardware store. Suspended from every hook on every wall were saws, blades, and knives. And of course, the first thing Justin had to touch was the giant blade on a table saw. All he saw were “shiny” things and all I could think of was the beginning of the movie “Ray” when he came home to find his brother dying from a gigantic gash in his chest caused by a power saw. I told Justin to keep his hands in his pockets and his foot on my foot. (Try this with a kid some time. If they have one foot on your foot, there isn’t that far they can go with the other one!)

After a few moments, Skeeter instructed me to bring the car around to the back of the store. As we pulled up, he was holding a huge wooden door. I had two thoughts, 1) Crap, I hope I measured correctly, and 2) Crap, how am I getting this thing home??? Luckily, I brought bungee cords with me because I thought I would be able to get these guys to strap it to the roof. Skeeter informed me that “for liability reasons” he was not allowed to assist me in loading my new purchase into or onto my car.

The only thing I could think to do was unbuckle Justin’s car seat, unlatch the second row and lower it down, put Justin in the front seat with me, load the door in as far as it would go…..and then hope for the best! With one hand on the steering wheel, one hand on Justin, and a raised elbow doing nothing to support the door – we raced home.

Here is the lesson from this experience (and probably a good life lesson) – “Just because something ‘fits’ doesn’t mean you should jam it in.”

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