There are many wonderful aspects to being a dad. HOWEVER, before you start punching holes in your condoms while watching MTV’s “16 and Pregnant” like it’s a National Geographic documentary – you should know that it’s not all Hot Wheels and Play-Doh. There are a few unsavory things that you must suffer through. For example…..
At this moment, there is a poop in my refrigerator. This is not a euphemism. There is a real baby poop in my fridge!!
While on my way to an important lunch meeting with a client, GWE notified me that Garrett had thrown up three times at school and needed to be cared for at home. Our plan was for GWE to pick up Garrett while I was at my lunch and then I would race home after my meeting to help her take care of our sick baby. When I got home, I was asked to dig the poop out of my son’s diaper so that the school could have it shipped off to be tested. Armed with two sterile vials, a bag labeled “Biohazard”, and a mouse-sized spork, I dug through the shit in Garrett’s diaper like it was sand at the beach. Once a satisfactory sample was retrieved, it was placed in our refrigerator to retain its “freshness.”
I may not be “Father of the Year”, but I don’t shy away from the dirty work either!!