The Grossest Invention Ever

What you are looking at is a picture of my wife actually sucking boogers out of my son’s nose.

Garrett has been sick for the past couple of days with conjunctivitis and a separate “baby cold.” I will admit that when the conjunctivitis began, I panicked. GWE was out of the house dealing with another family emergency and I was left alone with both kids. I decided to wake Garrett from his nap when I noticed a green, liquid “eye booger” in the corner of his left eye. As I wiped it away, I noticed that his eye was actually swollen shut and green pus was oozing out. I allowed myself a moment of hysteria in thinking that I had somehow blinded my son. All I could think about was the beginning of the Ray Charles story when he could see as a child, and then his eyes began to ooze, and then he was a blind prodigy. While my wife is kind and understanding, I doubt – “Hey honey – I blinded our son, but he can play the piano now!” would have been something she could have forgiven me for.

Needless to say, after a few conversations with the doctor and a prescription, his conjunctivitis is gone.

However, his cold lingers and his nose is stuffed up. We originally used a nasal aspirator, but the doctor has now advised against this because it “irritates the glands.” What you see in the picture above is the NEW way to remove boogers from your child. One end goes into the parent’s mouth and the other goes into the child’s nose….then, you suck HARD!! I’m not kidding. You actually suck out boogers. (There is a filter in-between Point A and Point B, but still….you are sucking out a booger.)

I have pleaded with my wife not to suck too hard. His skull is still soft and I’d hate for anything other than boogers to come out.


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