How Many 4 Year Olds Does it Take to Get to Second Base?

This story was told to me by GWE. I was not there to witness the events that occurred, nor was I there for the “aftermath.”

Yesterday afternoon GWE got a call from Justin’s school assuring us that “Justin was fine,” but that an incident had occurred. According to the teacher, Justin had asked a teacher if he could play on the structure shaped like a school bus. She said that it was fine and thought nothing of it as he walked away.

After a few moments, she noticed a commotion inside the school bus structure – so she decided to see what all the fuss was about. As she approached, she discovered four children “playing” inside the bus. However as she got closer, she realized that Justin was no longer wearing pants and the children announced that they were playing a game called “Show Me What You’ve Got.” And, one of the little girls informed the teacher that she had “touched it.” (These are 3 ½ to 5 year old kids. There is no intent behind their actions other than curiosity!)

Immediately realizing the gravity of the situation, she pulled up Justin’s pants and brought all four kids into a classroom for a discussion about what was and was not appropriate. Together, with the assistance of another teacher, they began to explain to the children that it’s not ok to let people touch you “under your bathing suit.” In a moment of either logical clarity or smart-ass humor Justin said, “But, I’m not wearing a bath suit!” Doh!

I’d like to point out a few things here:

1)      Justin was not the “toucher”. He was the “touchee!” Big difference!!

2)      In this situation, it’s good to be the parent of the boy and not the girl!

3)      It’s possible that this officially counts as second base. Hey – My kid got to second base!!

That evening, GWE and I decided to have a conversation with Justin about what had occurred at school. We tried to be serious, but all three of us broke into hysterical laughter. I wanted to tell Justin that it was not cool for a five year old to “rock out with his cock out,” but I just don’t think he’d understand it if I phrased it that way. I finally told him that his peepee was like the doors at school – only to be touched by mommy, daddy, or teacher.

By my calculations, I have 5 years to work on my Poker Face for our “Birds and Bees” discussion!


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