Forget “Ocean’s Eleven” and Meet the “Albertsons’ Two”

GWE’s instructions were simple: take Justin to Albertsons on Friday morning, pick up his birthday cupcakes, and then drop off Justin and the cupcakes at school. That was it!

At 8:30am on Friday morning, Justin and I left the house and headed over to Albertsons. We walked into a virtually empty grocery story. There were no other customers and barely any staff. We went over to the pastry/cake counter and waited for someone to help us. It took several minutes before we were even noticed. A nice man (with limited English skills and a big smile) came out from back and asked “You…help?” I told him that an order for birthday cupcakes was waiting for us under the name “Jason.” He continued to smile, went into the back, and after a few more minutes – he emerged from a cold locker with 2 dozen Lightning McQueen cupcakes. I thanked him; gave a dozen to Justin to carry to the car; took the other dozen myself and off we went!

Justin and I got back to the car, popped open the hatch, and then carefully loaded our precious cargo into the car. After we were done, we jumped back into the car and headed to school.

In between Albertsons and school, I had a random thought – “I wonder if GWE pre-paid for the cupcakes or if I was supposed to pay for them that morning.” I grabbed my phone and quickly called GWE (twice), but there was no answer. At the end of the second call attempt, we were already pulling into the school’s parking lot – so I decided to hang up and focus on getting Justin and the cupcakes into the classroom without being mobbed by sugar-seeking, zombie 4 year olds.

After I filled out his paperwork, I wished Justin a “Happy Birthday”, and then headed back home. As I got back on the road, GWE returned my call. I told her that all had gone well and we made the pickup and delivery with no problems. My curiosity got the better of me again and I asked, “Hon – did you pay for the cupcakes or was I supposed to?” There was silence on the other end of the phone. She replied, “Of course you were supposed to pay for them. You didn’t leave the store without paying for them, did you?”

At that moment, I realized what I had done. I had just stolen 2 dozen children cupcakes from our local grocery store. And, I made Justin my accomplice….AND, I made him an accomplice ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!!

Some dads are cool – they buy their kid a car on their sixteen birthday or get them a hooker. I made my son rob a grocery store at the tender age of five!

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