The Sparkling Rabbi

It was the middle of the night and GWE and I were staring at each other silently during yet another early AM feeding of Garrett. It had been a very long week since the arrival of our new son and neither of us had slept much. As we drowsily looked at each other (and Garrett), it became obvious to me that this week had taken it’s toll in many ways. But, we were both doing everything we could think of to get through.

As the dutiful husband, I lifted by weary head and asked my wife if she wanted anything from the kitchen. She simply asked for more ice water. Since this was the least taxing thing asked of me in the past 100 hours, I was happy to oblige. As I stood in the kitchen, it dawned on me that I too was thirsty. But, how do you quench the thirst of a new (again) Jewish father who knows he will be up most of the night with a screaming/hungry child while watching QVC and rocking this very cute “poop machine” to sleep? I now have the answer!!

I surveyed the kitchen which was packed with new items that were specifically brought in for the Bris 48 hours earlier. I noticed a bunch of sodas and wines that were off to the side. I quickly channeled my inner frat guy and mixed a few things together. Proudly, I marched back into the baby’s room with my purple designer cocktail. I raised my glass and proclaimed that I had created – “The Sparkling Rabbi!”

GWE looked at me skeptically and asked what I had done. I told her that I mixed three parts Sprite Zero (gotta watch the calories) with two parts Manischewitz Kosher Wine. She laughed and then asked to take a sip. After the first swallow, she looked at me in all seriousness and said, “Oh god, that shit is good!!!”

So now you know – when it’s 4am, the kids are crying, and you want something to take the edge off, plus the added bonus of feeling like it’s Passover – make yourself “The Sparkling Rabbi!”




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