They Call Me Ismael, Redux

As many of you may remember, Justin and I had a very tense week and a half while waiting for a toy to arrive by mail. (You can read about it here.) During that week, Justin repeatedly asked me, “Is Buzz here yet? Is Buzz here yet? Is Buzz here yet?” The toy finally arrived, but only after feelings were hurt (mine), tears were shed (again, mine), and alcohol was consumed to dull the pain of failure. This past week gave me the opportunity to turn the tables on my four year old son to see how much he liked being pestered for something that I wanted.

My birthday was this past week. This year, GWE was kind enough to ask me what I wanted. I love GWE and she is fantastic at many, many things. She is loving, kind, compassionate, and caring…but a terrible birthday gift giver. My wife’s philosophy is “Your birthday is for others to enjoy.” For example, one year she rented me a Mustang. However, I wasn’t allowed to drive the car because she didn’t insure me as a driver. Contrary to that, several years ago she bought me an amazing 50 inch, flat screen television. (Yes, she does enjoy watching HER shows on MY television.) And, this act of generosity has afforded her another 6 or 7 years of “free passes” when it comes to crappy gifts. (I love you hon. Please don’t kill me in my sleep.)

This year, I decided that I wanted a new coffee maker. I had clearly worn out the heating coil in my old coffee maker and with a new baby on the way – I knew that there were going to be some long nights ahead of me. After much contemplation and analysis, I found the coffee maker I wanted. GWE and Justin went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get my gift, only to discover that it was not an in-store item and had to be shipped from somewhere else. When I got home, Justin excitedly told me that my coffee maker was “in the mail.”

Start the clock:

5 hours later, I asked Justin if my coffee maker had arrived yet. “No daddy. It will be here soon.”

13 hours later, I again asked Justin if my coffee maker had arrived yet. “No daddy, It’s coming. You’re gonna be surprised!!!”

23 hours later, I again asked Justin if my coffee maker had arrived yet. “No daddy. It’s coming soon.”

33 hours later, I again asked Justin if my coffee maker had arrived yet. “Daddy. It’s coming. Papa is putting it on the plane. And then the plane will fly to California. Then, it will be on a truck and it will come to the house.”

43 hours later, I again asked Justin if my coffee maker had arrived yet. ”Daddy (serious tone). I told you that it’s coming.”

48 hours later, I again asked Justin if my coffee maker had arrived yet. “Stop it daddy.”

55 hours later, I again asked Justin if my coffee maker had arrived yet. “Uggg. Daddy, stop it. I told you it was coming. Leave me alone. I’m watching “Spongebob.”

60 hours later, I again asked Justin if my coffee maker had arrived yet. “Daddy, if you ask me again, I’m giving you a time-out.”

60.3 hours later, I again asked Justin if my coffee maker had arrived yet. Justin gave me a time out.

65 hours later, it arrives. We are all shocked at how fast it got here. Justin was the first to see it at the door. “IT’S HERE!! IT’S HERE!!” I asked Justin if he wanted to help me put it together. “No, daddy. You can play with your toy. I am going to play with mine.”

I’m not sure if he understood my reverse psychology, but I thought it was hilarious. As great as it was to get the coffee maker, the constant pestering of Justin made it much more worth while. Now, let’s see if he likes putting ME to bed at night!! He’s gonna need to get me some water, read me a book, make me go potty……

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