To Live and Die (and Drive) in LA

Before Justin was born, GWE and I talked about what our expectations were as new parents. I distinctly remember a number of in-depth discussions about how we intended to raise our son. In retrospect, this was a clear example of two very naive people with no child care experience talking about how they were going to raise the perfect child. We weren’t going to raise our kid like “those other families.” And we CERTAINLY, weren’t going to allow our son to be sedated with a portable DVD player. Clearly, “those other families” didn’t care about their children as much as we were going to care for Justin.

We are such hypocrites.

Not only do we have a portable DVD player, but we also have one embedded in the ceiling of GWE’s car for Justin to watch whenever he wants. I do not have a DVD player in my car. (But, in all fairness, my car also doesn’t have the bolts attached to the frame that Justin’s car seat is supposed to be latched to. We like to live on the edge in my car!) When GWE got her new car with the DVD player, I warned her that I would borrow her car at some point for a Guy’s Weekend to Vegas and we would be watching porn the entire drive there and back. It has yet to happen – but it could! To date, only Justin’s DVD collection has been screened in the car….over and over and over and over and over…….

The funny thing about having a DVD player installed in the car is that I am now aware of the DVD players installed in other cars on the road. They are everywhere! So, as a dad and as a Hollywood executive, I’ve taken it upon myself to look over into other cars to see if I can identify the movie they are watching (all while weaving from one lane to the next at 80 mph). In most cases, I can identify the movie shown and while this hobby is satisfying on a professional level, it is also probably a little dangerous and I fully expect to get a call from my mother-in-law after she reads this. (Ring…Ring….)

This is a hobby my wife was not fully aware of until this past week. We were on the 405 heading south when I casually looked over, saw that another car was playing a DVD, and then announced to my wife that the kids in the black Tahoe two cars up and one lane over were watching the “Elmo Goes Potty” DVD. There was a moment of silence and then she began to laugh like I’d never heard her laugh before. It was at that moment that I realized that I may need to keep my hobbies to myself and possibly spend a little less time watching Justin’s DVDs.

1 thought on “To Live and Die (and Drive) in LA

  1. You can always make me laugh and smile. And you did that, once again! I certainly hope you don’t think I would call you about unsafe driving! This is an email, right? 😉
    Remember, you have precious cargo in your car……even when you are driving alone.

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